Since my high school reunion I have been doing a lot of thinking — reflecting is more descriptive because it’s less linear than just thinking (at least I think so!). After talking with friends I have not seen in half a century, I pondered the decisions that either I have made or have been made for me and the outcomes related directly to those decisions. Maybe it is the combination of the reunion and becoming a grandmother; maybe it’s seeing my life and home through others’ eyes; maybe it’s that after a year and a half in the woods, I am rethinking my decision to lead this quiet life. Or, maybe it’s the extremes of being in the Poconos and then spending time on the Upper West Side and Brooklyn — the novelty of being able to walk out the door and get a great cup of coffee while reading the paper or buying take-out that is better than anything I’ve had in ages!
Not only am I finding it a bit too quiet up here, but I am also finding it difficult to connect with like-minded people. I have discovered why I have a lot of friends that are younger than me — it’s because they have something to say, lead interesting lives, and we have a shared history. The few people I come in contact with here seem to be old and cranky. While I am chronologically old, I am now concerned that I will become cranky as well and then be annoying to be around! Silly, you say? Not really. I have watched this happen. I meet people who are older than their years and it concerns me. All of this has led me to reconsider this life I now lead and how to expand and enhance it. The easy answer, you think, is “get a job,” or “volunteer,” but where? The options in this area are very limited.
I did go into the library to ask about after school programming and whether they would be interested in science nights or monthly science activities for young children. As is common in many places, change is viewed with skepticism and the attitude of “why would we want to change anything?” Apparently, people here are quite content to leave things the way they are — content enough to make it difficult to enact change. And…I’m not sure I want to fight that battle. So I am considering options — ones that are realistic and ones that are not and are just fun to think about!
An attitude adjustment is probably necessary at this point and so I am considering a trip south in the next couple of weeks to visit with family and friends and put some distance between myself and the mountains. That’ll do it! Don’t you think?